I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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