That's when you crack a 10am beer
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
