have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
