Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm bleeding and have questions
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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