how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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