Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
