You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
