Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just high enough for therapy.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
