i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
