i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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