hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize