David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
