plz talk dirty to me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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