They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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