she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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