if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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