is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
