I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
