The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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