when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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