I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Randomize
