so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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