just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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