the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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