all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
