help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize