he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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