Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
