my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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