Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
