Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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