I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize