Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
