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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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