I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
