Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize