I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
