Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
