I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
