My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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