I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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