As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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