Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
