***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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