i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I party with great urgency now.
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