There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
