Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
