you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
