I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love having hate sex.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
