all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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