And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
