BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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