she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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