let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
