Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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