Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
