The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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