I faked an abortion last night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
